oknope:

doing a math question on a multiple choice test and getting an answer that isnt even listed as one of the choices

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stribird:

someone on my dash said john was apathetic and uncaring and i got upset

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

super-happy-ahegao-fun-club:

lychgate:

when you dont have enough money to pay for daycare AND dog sitting

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This by far the most fucked up post on the internet.

buzzfeed:

The British are a very unique people. 

beben-eleben:

How to get a boyfriend

ollivander:

wifigirl2080:

becuzbacon:

dynastylnoire:

beben-eleben:

31 Life-Changing Gifts For Ice Cream Lovers

O.O WANT!!!

I would just cut into the paper bottom on that Ben and Jerry’s one. Check. Mate.

All things specifically marketed to me???

first one doesn’t work I can vouch for it

troyetrxye:

I’m not going to say anything

lalalere:

sinsoo:

There is no friendship stronger than those forged in the weeaboo years.

sketchinetch:

cremebuns:

emeralddragoness:

cremebuns:

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

GOD

SHUT UP

UR SO STUPID

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[x]

uhohbaggettios:

Estoy Groot

420calum:

So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that

drinkmasturbatecry:

razzledazzy:

netforce0:

descartes-and-thosecartes:

sensorydeprivationprincess:

turboslime:

Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.

Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.

There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.

But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?

High five, America!

oh my god

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

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im crying

OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING

"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"

10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.